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I went 9-7 last week. That puts me at 139-85 for the season. For a comparison, check out the "experts" over at ESPN.
Here are my picks for the NFL's Week 16: *Thursday, December 20, 2007* Pittsburgh 9-5 at Saint Louis 3-11 - 8:15 pm (Sheridan's line: Pittsburgh by 8½) The Steelers have dropped two in a row, and so now Cleveland is tied with them for the division lead in the AFC North. Pittsburgh holds the head-to-head tiebreaker, however, so they are still in control of their own destiny. They are just 2-4 on the road this season. Saint Louis has also lost two in a row, and now find themselves alone in last place in the NFC West. The Rams are an embarrassing 1-6 at home on the season. Marshall Faulk's No. 28 is scheduled to be retired during a ceremony at halftime. The "retirement" ceremony for head coach Scott Linehan is expected to be held in about two weeks, via press release. RJ's Pick - Pittsburgh by 5 *Saturday, December 22, 2007* Dallas 12-2 at Carolina 6-8 - 8:15 pm (Sheridan's line: Dallas by 11) The Cowboys lost last week at home to Philadelphia. Tony Romo had a disappointing game, throwing 3 INTs and 0 TDs and completing just 36% of his passes, for a quarterback rating of 22.2. (This is where I will decline to make a joke about Jessica Simpson's enormous funbags. I'm far too classy for that.) The Panthers surprised Seattle last week, 13-10. But their season is still over. RJ's Pick - Dallas by 15 *Sunday, December 23, 2007* Cleveland 9-5 at Cincinnati 5-9 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: Cleveland by 2½) How 'bout them Brownies? Cleveland has won two straight and has a realistic chance of winning their division. And even if they don't, they will still almost certainly make the playoffs as a Wild Card (unless they lose their last two games and Tennessee wins both of theirs). They have struggled a bit on the road this season, going 3-4 away from Cleveland Browns Stadium. The Bengals lost last week at San Francisco. Rumor has it that the Bengals locker room is in full meltdown mode, with Chad Johnson and T. J. Houshmandzadeh verbally abusing Carson Palmer while head coach Marvin Lewis stands around with his thumb in his ass looks the other way. They sure know how to run a tight ship in Cincinnati! RJ's Pick - Cleveland by 6 Green Bay 12-2 at Chicago 5-9 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: Green Bay by 9) The Packers have won two in a row, and are still in the hunt for home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. The Bears have lost three straight, were eliminated from playoff contention last week, and are so desperate to find some answers at the quarterback position that many expect them to trade for a washed-up Donovan McNabb in the off-season. But I guess Kyle-friggin'-Orton will have to do for now. RJ's Pick - Green Bay by 13 Houston 7-7 at Indianapolis 12-2 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: Indianapolis by 7½) Houston has won two in a row, but it was too little, too late; they were eliminated from playoff contention last week. Future emperor-for-life and omnipotent god-king Sage Rosenfels is 3-0 this season as a starter. The Texans are just 2-5 on the road this year. The Colts have nothing really to play for; they have locked up the 2nd seed and a bye in the AFC playoffs. Still, Tony Dungy is going to have his team prepared to go out and win against a division rival in front of the home crowd. RJ's Pick - Indianapolis by 11 RJ'S LAME-GAME OF THE WEEK: Kansas City 4-10 at Detroit 6-8 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: Detroit by 5) Kansas City has dropped seven straight. They have scored the fewest points in the AFC. And their head coach is apparently a moron. Detroit was crushed by the Chargers last week, 51-14. The Lions have now lost six in a row, and were eliminated from playoff contention last week. (Playoff contention? Did I just mention "the Lions" and "playoff contention" in the same sentence? I really need to stop drinking absinthe while writing these columns.) So I guess Jon Kitna's prediction of ten wins is going to fall a few short. Oh, well. Another season or two like this one, and he's gonna torch his Bible and start reading Christopher Hitchens.
RJ's Pick - Detroit by 2 New York Giants 9-5 at Buffalo 7-7 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: New York Giants by 3) The Giants lost last week at home to Washington. Interesting fact: They have not won a game by more than six points since Week 7. Eli Manning is having his worst season since his rookie year; in other words, he's regressing. Maybe he should seriously consider pursuing that second sport. The Bills were shut out by the Browns last week, dashing their playoff hopes. RJ's Pick - Buffalo by 3 Oakland 4-10 at Jacksonville 10-4 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: Jacksonville by 13) Oakland has lost two in a row. I find them unworthy of any more of my keystrokes. The Jaguars beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh last week. David Garrard is having a stellar year, with 16 TDs and just 2 INTs, and a quarterback rating of 101.6. However, he hasn't had a single 300-yard passing game this season. It would not surprise me to see this team make it all the way to the AFC Championship Game. RJ's Pick - Jacksonville by 21 Philadelphia 6-8 at New Orleans 7-7 - 1:00 pm (Sheridan's line: New Orleans by 3) The Eagles won at Dallas last week, which must have been an extremely satisfying victory in an otherwise disappointing season. Philadelphia has been eliminated from playoff contention. The Saints, on the other hand, still have a shot at earning a Wild Card berth thanks to two straight wins. But Reggie Bush is injured (and tarnished). This one should be close. RJ's Pick - New Orleans by 1 Atlanta 3-11 at Arizona 6-8 - 4:05 pm (Sheridan's line: No line) The Atlanta Falcons hilarity continues. First they got blown out by Tampa Bay 37-3 in a game where they managed a total of 34 passing yards. Then five of their players got fined by the NFL for showing their support for an animal-lynching felon during a nationally-televised game. And now Bill Parcells has turned down a job offer to become the team's executive vice president after Falcons owner Arthur Blank had already gone public with what he thought was a "verbal agreement." Heh. Arizona lost their second game in a row last week, and they now find themselves out of playoff contention. RJ's Pick - Arizona by 14 Tampa Bay 9-5 at San Francisco 4-10 - 4:05 pm (Sheridan's line: Tampa Bay by 7) Tampa Bay has won five of their last six. To show you what kind of year Jeff Garcia is having, first take a look at his stats, and then take a look at his wife (they married back in April). San Francisco beat the Bengals last week. Alex Smith and head coach Mike Nolan are pretending to not hate each other, which is progress, I suppose. RJ's Pick - Tampa Bay by 13 Baltimore 4-10 at Seattle 9-5 - 4:15 pm (Sheridan's line: No line) Baltimore lost to the previously-winless Dolphins in overtime last week. The Ravens have now lost eight straight. If the regular season ends with that streak at ten, Brian Billick is toast, guaranteed. Seattle lost to Carolina last week. The are 6-1 at home on the year. RJ's Pick - Seattle by 3 Miami 1-13 at New England 14-0 - 4:15 pm (Sheridan's line: New England by 22½) DOLPHINS WIN! DOLPHINS WIN! (Hey, what am I so surprised about? I picked them to win last week.) Cleo Lemon had a career game, passing for 315 yards, 1 TD, and 0 INTs. The Dolphins were partying like crazy after the game, I'm sure. Can you imagine the kind of spontaneous, uninhibited, orgiastic celebrations that will occur if they somehow manage to win this week? (And I'm just talking about the guys from the '72 Dolphins!) New England beat the Jets last week despite the worst Tom Brady performance since he walked out on his pregnant girlfriend.
RJ's Pick - New England by 16 New York Jets 3-11 at Tennessee 8-6 - 4:15 pm (Sheridan's line: Tennessee by 9) The Jets have lost two straight. They are 1-6 on the road this season. Tennessee beat Kansas City last week to remain alive in the hunt for a Wild Card spot. But Vince Young has thrown 16 INTs this season and just 9 TDs. Everyone, please repeat after me: "Merril Hoge was right." RJ's Pick - Tennessee by 6 RJ'S GAME OF THE WEEK: Washington 7-7 at Minnesota 8-6 - 8:15 pm (Sheridan's line: Minnesota by 6½) Washington has won two in a row. They need to win this week in order to have a chance of making the postseason. Minnesota has won five in a row. A win here would almost ensure a Wild Card berth for the Vikings. Tarvaris Jackson will need to utilize all of those advanced quarterbacking skills he learned while playing college 'ball at Alabama State (LOL). RJ's Pick - Washington by 2 *Monday, December 24, 2007* Denver 6-8 at San Diego 9-5 - 8:00 pm (Sheridan's line: San Diego by 8) Denver lost last week at Houston. They are just 2-5 on the road this season. San Diego has won four straight. The Chargers have won the AFC West for the second year in a row despite all the challenges they've faced: LaDainian Tomlinson's slow start, injuries to key players, out-of-control wildfires, and having Norv Turner as their head coach. (Rimshot!) They are 6-1 at home. RJ's Pick - San Diego by 14 (If you're interested, you can check out the full list of Danny Sheridan's Odds and ESPN's NFL "Expert" Picks.) No one has commented on this article. |