I have to admit that soccer players can be pretty weenie sometimes. These past few days I've been watching the Copa America (the continental South American championship) and the FIFA Under-20 World Cup.

Quick: did you know the Copa America is older than the World Cup? Use it at the dinner table tonight. You'll be a star. You know what else? FIFA is all into their "Fair Game" motto, but how is play acting fair game?

Yes, I like soccer. I am not ashamed to admit this. Most of the criticism directed at the game is often made out of pure ignorance of the game. Alas, my pappy told me that this world would be filled with evil people so I've learned to roll with it. But my love and appreciation for the game doesn't preclude me from being objective when it comes to observing it. I'm not hardcore for much of anything, let alone soccer - Except for one thing.

I move on.

There are aspects of soccer that simply make me want to puke in Rosie O'Donnell's cereal. First among them are the theatrics. Sometimes I watch soccer and I think I'm watching the ballet. And don't get me going on the whining.

Years ago, I was playing in a game when a teammate fell to the ground in the penalty area and earned a penalty shot. I ran up to him but he kept his hands clutched to his face moaning in mock pain face down. The more I tried to pull him up the more stiff he became. Rigor mortis, is it?

Anyway, amidst the commotion he managed to peek up at me and say, "did I get the penalty?"

Pathetic.

Theatrics have been around the game for decades and it is generally accepted it came, like maize and the tomato, by way of South America. Theatrics, as the name implies, is theater on the pitch. Like the plays of that English dude, Shakespeare.

Those crazy Latinos. They not only had an artistic interpretation of the game, they also brought a deceiving aspect to it.

Today, it belongs to the world. It has become an accepted norm of the game. It is a ploy by players to waste time and conserve energy. As such, many self-proclaimed purists have defended it as a classic and traditional soccer tactic.

Blah, blah, blah.

In the game between Chile and Canada, the Chileans were not only majestral with the ball, they were also annoying with their antics. It got to a point where the Canadian "emergency" crew couldn't hide their smirks as they attended to a player with a stretcher.

Now granted, Canada was playing as though they forgot to take their Ritalin as they began to mistake soccer for hockey, but still. Chile was up 3-0. Spare the fans and viewers the nonsense.

You've seen the move. Fall down. Scream and roll around like someone stabbed you with a toothpick in the eye, get attended to by four or five concerned trainers and physicians, get off on a stretcher while looking up at the sky praying to God, get sprayed with a magic potion and signal to the ref you are ready to come back on.

I'm not saying some fouls are not painful. Trust me, as a former player they are. Furthermore, as a whole, theatrics are not the norm though they are the most noticeable.

Theatrics are simply frowned upon in North America. Can you imagine a hockey, basketball, football, or baseball player engaging in it? Man, his own mother would mercilessly chastise him. To a society that watches sports like football and hockey, some guy in shorts grabbing his leg after a dubious fall does not represent the male gender all that well.

I suppose this explains in part, why soccer is not quite ready for prime time here. Many sports fans that are ready to give it a shot simply can't digest watching some kid from the third world eat grass. Remember Claude Lemieux? I know hockey fans do. Enough said.

It's a clash of sports civilizations and on this front North America wins hands down.

The bottom line theatrics (including diving) is an ugly part of the game. It's time to figure out a way to punish players for it. There are two ways we can deal with this. Either we allow the referee to punch the player in the alleged injured area to see if it's real or we can start by flashing a yellow card if the referee clearly sees that the player is faking.

Personally, I like the former.